Posts Tagged ‘Diary of Days’

“Everyone lies”…

How true is that?  Everyone tells or has told lies at some point in their lives.  Anyone who claims otherwise— is lying.

Yes, it is a fact that everyone lies to some degree or another, for some reason or another.  The reasons behind them are as varied as the species on this planet!  To each his own…

There are too many types of lies to list.   Here are just a few:

  • WHITE LIES-  Unimportant lies, or lies told to be tactful or polite.  These lies are rarely ever told with malicious intent, but out of consideration for another person’s feelings.  White lies are minor lies which could be considered harmless, or even beneficial, in the long run. White lies are also considered to be used for greater good. A common version of a white lie is to tell only part of the truth, therefore not be suspected of lying, yet also conceal something else, in order to avoid awkward situations.
  • MALICIOUS LIES-  Lies that are told with design to harm someone or defame them.
  • EMERGENCY LIES- An emergency lie is a strategic lie told when the truth may not be told because, for example, harm to a third party would result.  Alternatively, an emergency lie could denote a (temporary) lie told to a second person because of the presence of a third.
  • PATHOLOGICAL LIES- (habitual, compulsive, chronic)  Lies told out of habit or compulsion for no apparent reason.
  • DENIAL- (also called abnegation) is a defense mechanism , in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.
“Everyone lies. . .”

We know the phrase well by now.  It is one of the most scrutinized phrases from the infamous, Cindy Anthony created, Casey Anthony pasted, “Diary of Days”.

The majority THINK they already know, but really, why did Casey lie?

Why did she lie about her job status?

Why did she lie about the nanny?

Why did she lie about where Caylee was those 31 days?

Why, why, why?

What in the world was going on her mind?  What was it that motivated the telling of these tales?

Many claim that these lies stemmed from the self-serving needs of a cold-blooded sociopath.

Read up on the definition & traits of a sociopath here:


Let’s begin with the secrecy surrounding the pregnancy.  We have a 19 year old, unmarried, regular kind of girl, who turns up pregnant.  One would expect her not to run up a mountain and shout the news to the world.  Unmarried teen pregnancy is still a taboo, even as rampant as it is these days.  So, for her to have kept that from her family for a while, is not unusual.  I’m also willing to bet Casey didn’t even know she was pregnant until after the 1st trimester was up.  We know she told a friend, in her 5th month, that she had just found out, and I’m guessing that was probably not far from the truth.  Cindy found out about the pregnancy around that same time, but denied it, until the 7th month, when she and George claim they were first told by Casey.

I know most seem to find fault with the cover-up of Casey’s pregnancy.  They think it shows she didn’t want the baby and use that argument to support the murder allegations.  I beg to differ.  Most teen pregnancies are not planned, are unwanted, but they accept and get used to the idea, have the babies, fall in love with them and go on to be the best parents they can be.  Casey was 19, she could have had an abortion and no one ever had to know about it.  The fact that she chose to carry her baby to term, whether it was to give her up for adoption, or keep the child, shows that she had respect for that new life forming in her womb.  It is America, 2005, she had a choice, and her choice was to keep that baby and, ultimately, to be a mother.


Yes, that non-job that Casey claimed to have been working for 2 years beyond the date of termination…   Why would she make that up?  Hmm, let’s start with mom.  Mom wanted her daughter to work.  Makes sense.  Casey seemed to have no problem with working and continued to do so even throughout her pregnancy.  That doesn’t sound lazy to me.  So, what happened after Caylee was born?  Well, for one, she had a baby, and this baby was her pride and joy.  No new mother looks forward to going back to work and leaving her precious child in the hands of someone else.  Once her maternity leave was up, Casey was not, yet, ready to go back to work, but Mom and Dad were getting on her case.  So she sets off one day, and pretends to go to work.   Maybe she went out and picked up some applications, figuring she’d get a job soon enough.  If you’ll recall, George saw a job application that Casey had filled out, and in the job history section she had listed “nanny”.  George questioned her as to why she had put that down when she’d never worked as a nanny, and she said “Well, dad, that’s just something I’ve been thinking about doing”.  Casey may not have had a job yet, but it does seem she was working towards finding one.

But there’s a problem, if Casey is “going to work”, who is watching the child?   Soon Casey figures out that she has to have someone watching the baby in order support her lie about the job she has yet to find.   Or had she found or been “assigned” a job,  just not one she wanted anyone to know about.  Stripping, drug dealing, web-cam girl, escorting, porn?    One lie turns into two.  Casey needs a babysitter…


Casey had a variety of friends  who watched Caylee, either long-term or short-term, including Lauren Gibbs, who watched Caylee primarily until she was about 7 months old , Christina Chester and Holly Gagne who, periodically, watched Caylee, and Adam Lynch, a guy Casey dated, watched Caylee for a few days in the summer of 2006.  Jesse and his father, Richard Grund, also cared for the girl, quite frequently, after Lauren Gibbs quit.  Eventually, this arrangement was no longer working out for a variety of reasons.  Casey was SOL.  Mr. Grund wants to know if Casey has found someone to take over, and along comes Zenaida Fernandez-Gonzalez AKA “Zanny the Nanny”.   Originally, it seems that Zanny was created for the benefit of Richard Grund.  Casey did not want to burden him with the fact that she did not have anyone else to take care of Caylee, after all.  It didn’t much matter to Casey, since she had Caylee with her the majority of the time, anyway.



     Two years after Casey started the lying about the Job status and “Zanny the Nanny”, Cindy pulls her card.  It is now June 15th 2008.  At around    7:30pm, Casey comes home after spending most of her day with her boyfriend, Anthony (Tony) Lazzaro.  Cindy has been home with Caylee for a few hours now, after taking her on a day trip to see Cindy’s parents, and has a bone to pick with her daughter.  At some point in the night, Mom lays out the photos of Casey at an “Anything But Clothes” party, when she was supposed to have been at work.  A fight ensues, Cindy’s hands end up around her daughter’s throat, strangling her.  Lee, allegedly, witnessed this fight and had to pull Cindy off of Casey at least two times.


What happened after that?  Only Casey, Lee, Cindy and George know.  But, what we DO know, is that this was the last day Caylee was documented to have been alive and well.

June 15th to July 16th equals 31 days.

Something happened after that fight.  Something unthinkable.  Caylee Marie Anthony mysteriously ceased existence…  Not a single one of us truly know what caused this little girls’ death, but the most popular belief is that Casey was mad at Mommy and was going to “teach her a lesson”.  Oh yeah, she was going to show her.  How?  By extinguishing the one person she cherished the most.  By going into her secret laboratory, and mixing up a batch of home-made CHLOROFORM and using it to put her baby girl to sleep, forever.  Oh, and let us not forget how she “wrapped” Caylee’s head with 3 layers of duct tape to be sure the job was done.  But wait!!  She almost forgot to add that magical, disappearing heart sticker for the finishing touch.

Sounding a little ridiculous?  That’s because it probably IS.

No.  Something really bad happened.

Something we can only begin or pretend to imagine.

Something so unspeakable, that Casey went about convincing herself that all was “normal” for 31 days.

Casey’s strange behavior, after Caylee “vanished”, was actually very typical, considering how she had learned to deal with repeated trauma from a very young age.  Casey learned to lie to protect herself from the harsh realities of what her brother and father had been doing to her.  Lying became her method of survival.  She became quite good at it, and, by the time she reached adulthood, lying was second nature.

Casey lied to avoid facing reality.

She did not like her reality.

She was lying to herself.


Now imagine you’re a 22 year old woman who’s been sexually molested by both your brother and father for years.   The emotional trauma becomes so unbearable that you learn to deny and “forget” it’s happening.

Now imagine you’re this same young mother whose child suddenly ceases to exist?  This is one of THE most PAINFUL things a mother could ever go through!  For Casey, it was so severe that she may have shut down and gone into auto-pilot.  There is actually a name for this type of defense mechanism.


“Situation-specific amnesia occurs as a result of a severely stressful event, as in post-traumatic stress disorder, child sex abuse, military combat or witnessing a family member’s murder or suicide, and is somewhat common in cases of severe and/or repeated trauma.

Some characteristics that define psychogenic amnesia is the loss of personal identity, semantic knowledge, and procedural abilities at least in the early phase of amnesia.

Traumatic amnesia involves the loss of remembering traumatic experiences. The younger the subject and the longer the traumatic event is, the greater the chance of significant amnesia.  Not being able to integrate traumatic memories seems to be the main element which leads to PTSD.

Risk factors

Patients exposed to physically or emotionally traumatic events are at a higher risk for developing psychogenic amnesia because they seem to have damaged the neurons in the brain. Examples of individuals at greater risk of psychogenic amnesia due to traumatic events include soldiers who have experienced combat, individuals sexually and physically abused during childhood and individuals who have experienced domestic violence, natural disasters, or terrorist acts; essentially any sufficiently severe psychological stress, internal conflict, or intolerable life situation.  Child abuse, especially chronic child abuse starting at an early age has been related to the development of high levels of dissociative symptoms, including amnesia for abuse memories. The study strongly suggested that “independent corroboration of recovered memories of abuse is often present” and that the recovery of the abuse memories generally is not associated with psychotherapy.


Elliot’s study of a randomized nationwide sample (n=505) found that situation-specific psychogenic amnesia was somewhat common in the general population. 72% of subjects reported a profoundly distressing emotional trauma; 32% of these reported amnesia about part or all of the trauma, followed by “delayed recall” of the event. Traumatic events most commonly associated with psychogenic amnesia were witnessing a suicide or murder, and being sexually abused. Elliott also found that psychogenic amnesia was most strongly associated with severe and/or repeated traumas, and with traumas during childhood.”


The above excerpts, should help us to further understand some of why she told the next big lie.


31 long days have passed and Cindy Anthony is on a mission to find her daughter.  Casey has been “gone” too long and she “doesn’t know” what is going on.  As the story goes, Cindy and George finally “noticed” the notice on their front door and a couple of days later they are at the Johnson’s Wrecking Service lot, pissed off with a wad of cash to hand over in order to retrieve their daughters car that had run out of gas 19 days earlier.

**(This is the car that Casey, allegedly, drove around “for days”, with her murdered child’s body decomposing in the trunk.  This is the same car that they found no blood in, no DNA, no fingerprints, no human decomposition fluid, and only a 60% chemical match to the odor of human decomposition.)

After taking the car back to the house, Cindy and George, both, go back to work.  Later, Cindy arrives back home and starts looking through the car where she finds Casey’s friend, Amy Huizenga’s phone number.  She calls Amy and asks her to help her figure out where her daughter is.   Amy decides to ride with her to Tony Lazzaro’s house, where Casey had been staying for the two weeks after her car ran out of gas.  They arrive at Tony’s and a heated argument takes place between Casey and Cindy outside of the apartment.  Casey reluctantly agrees to leave with Amy and her mother, but tells Tony she is coming back.

Only Cindy and Casey will ever truly know what was said in the car, after Amy had been dropped off, but soon 911 is called to report a stolen car.  They get to the house, where Casey’s brother, Lee, has been waiting and the second 911 call was made, to report stolen credit cards… “Oh, and a possible missing child”.

Lee goes into Casey’s room where she sits on the bed, crying.  A little while later, the “Zanny the Nanny Kidnapping” story is born.  The third and final 911 call is made by Cindy to report this new information.  George arrives sometime during the course of that last call.  Hours later, police officers show up and take the family’s statements.  There was plenty of time for the Anthonys to concoct a good story, wouldn’t you say?

Maybe Casey had created this kidnapping nanny story all on her own.  Maybe it’s because she’s a cold-blooded sociopath who needed her daughter out of her life so she could “live the Bella Vita”.  But have you ever considered the alternatives?  Did she know something had happened to Caylee at the hands of someone so dangerous that she could not risk her own life to tell a soul?  Or could it be that Casey was doing anything and everything she could to protect her own psyche from facing the traumatic and so deeply, darkly, permanent reality that her precious, baby girl would never grace her senses, ever again?  This life-long defense mechanism had, after all, been frequently utilized by Casey since childhood and was the only way she knew how to cope.

‘Lie to yourself ‘…

“Oh Caylee’s having fun.  She with the nanny”.

Saying this allows Casey to believe Caylee is OK, that everything is “normal” and she’ll see her soon.

‘Deny, and it won’t be true’…

“My Caylee has been kidnapped”.

In Casey’s mind, this means that Caylee is not dead, just gone for a while.   This “lie”gives her hope for a happy ending and that she will see her little girl again.

Whether or not Casey actually knows where Caylee was, or witnessed what happened to her, she cannot allow the unspeakable, unthinkable realities, whatever they may be, to enter into her consciousness.  It’s harshness would cause her to become unglued.  The brutality of the pain and mental anguish would surely be Casey’s final death…

‘Suppress, and I will not feel the pain’…




*** Note:  The ideas presented, in this post, are my own opinions based on the facts derived from case documents and supporting research.



Diary Of Days

“From Public Records Release PDF# 17


Yuri Melich
Orange County Sheriff’s Office
Criminal Investigations Division
Child Abuse/Missing Persons Unit
2500 West Colonial Drive
Orlando, Florida 32804

Sandra G. Cawn
Orange County Sheriff’s Office
Criminal Investigations Division
Computer Crimes Squad
2500 West Colonial Drive
Orlando, Florida 32804
(407) 254-7000 ext. 7-0593
Seizure and Processing Notes

An MSWord document entitled “diary of days.doc” was bookmarked. The Metadata Analysis of the document “Diary of Days” reports the author as CMANTHON of the GENTIVA Corporation on July 2, 2008 at 10:42:08 am. The document was bookmarked and copied to the Evidence\Documents folder. The results of the Metadata Analysis were saved to the same folder. Also bookmarked were several web page entries for Bill Pay for the account “Casey Anthony, account number 04985420- 001-04” for payment of a cell phone bill.


Name: diary of days.doc
Description: File, Archive
File Created: 07/02/08 10:51:12AM
Last Accessed: 07/15/08 04:40:PM

Last Written: 07/02/08 10:51:12AM
Full Path: 08-069208\WXE906472668\C\Documents and Settings\bobby\Desktop\diary of days.doc”

*The above is an excerpt from OCSO documents.

**Notice that the metadata shows this document to have been originally authored by CMANTHON of the GENTIVA Corporation AKA, CINDY ANTHONY.

Notice it was first written/created by Cindy Anthony on July 2nd 2008 at 10:42 am.  This is the day before Cindy posted her “My Caylee Is Missing” blog on her MySpace account.

NOTICE that, although they show the actual Metadata Analysis for every other suspicious photo or documents they found, as far as “Casey” and “bobby” go, they DO NOT go out of their way to show the same for this “Diary Of Days” document authored by “CMANTHON Of Gentiva Corporation”.

Why did they leave this important info. out of that report?

About 10 minutes later this document finds itself in the “bobby” account documents at 10:51 am.

So, tell me, how did a document authored by Cindy Anthony of Gentiva Corporations end up in this “bobby” account?

I thought about the fact that the laptop Casey used, on her 31 day excursion, actually belonged to Cindy.  This led me to wonder if this laptop had been issued to Cindy via Gentiva, or if it was a work-based laptop.  BUT, I found that might not be possible when I searched and found this little tid-bit:

“When asked if Cindy could work from home on her laptop, Polisano stated that Gentiva’s system blocked remote access of work records.”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the above info. would make having a work laptop kind of useless if one is “blocked” from accessing work records from outside of the work-place.  Agreed?  In other words, that would help us figure that this infamous “Diary Of Days” document was created AT the Gentiva Corporation office. Yes?  And if it was created at Cindy’s work-place under Cindy’s work log-in info., then it was also, most likely, written by Cindy— or someone playing around at her work station.

So, what?  Was Casey at Cindy’s office on July 2nd, writing poetry on Mom’s computer?  Possibly, but I doubt it.  The reason for my doubt is the fact that it was found under “bobby” 10 minutes later…

I recall, somewhere among the doc dumps, that Cindy spoke of her love for writing and poetry.  I believe Cindy may have written this poem and emailed it to Casey who, in turn, saved it into her “bobby/ docs”.  (What’s with the “bobby”, anyway??)

It is July 3rd, the next day, when Cindy posts her “My Caylee” blog in her MySpace page.

Casey then “responds”, on July 7th, with Cindy’s own poem, “Diary Of Days”, and the big question we should be asking is, “WHY?”

What was Casey trying to say to her mom?

It is also important to note that the fact that it was CINDY, and NOT CASEY, who authored this poem, changes the way it should be perceived.  Don’t you think?

Any ideas?

 Metadata describes other data. It provides information about a certain item’s content. For example, an image may include metadata that describes how large the picture is, the color depth, the image resolution, when the image was created, and other data. A text document’s metadata may contain information about how long the document is, who the author is, when the document was written, and a short summary of the document.”